You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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