I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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