I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
