We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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