Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
