Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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