dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Damn victory sex feels great
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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