nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
