This girl is more easily done than said...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Your penis caused this!
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