I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
