walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
