This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
