I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize