So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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