I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
