Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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