The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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