Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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