marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
