just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
