I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
