dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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