Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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