i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
