My boss' voice literally gives me gas
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
