I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
