Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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