Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
