he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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