The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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