Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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