Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
