Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
