I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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