I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
