Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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