ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
