It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
