people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
