I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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