i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im calling her cock vulture from now on
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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