My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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