; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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