Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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