So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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