just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
