I smell stomach acid.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize