What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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