Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
