Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
