I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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