It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just high enough for therapy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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