Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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