My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
